I find that I’ve gotten stuck in the urgent and neglected the important. I don’t often enough reach out to see how some of my favorite people are doing in the midst of the mess. I think about how I should, then get busy doing something else and another week has gone by. Then, I’ll spend time beating myself up, promise to get it together, wash, rinse, repeat. Sound familiar? There’s more…
This virus is bringing out some junk in me!
Seriously. This whole virus thing is bringing out things I thought I’d dealt with years ago. (It’s also bringing out jewels that I’d lost hope I’d ever see in myself, but I have to be more intentional to notice those.) In other words, I’m seeing things in myself – like ugly reactions, unhealthy coping behaviors, worry thoughts, etc. – that I’d (still) like to change.
For example, I thought I’d conquered this tendency to compare and find myself lacking. But ahem. Not so much. Since this all started, I have seen so many of my colleagues, peers, mentors and gurus in the health n wellness space just BLOWING UP MY E-MAIL. They’re offering tips and advice and webinars and group chats and so. many. things. All to help us get through this in the best way possible… It’s been a virtual CORONACOPIA of information/”inspiration.” (see what I did there?)
And I’m right there with ‘em. I am so excited to help people in this space. In fact, Soaring Through Transition is kinda my jam! But, instead – I got jammed up. Spent WAY too much time ruminating how much I’m NOT accomplishing. Comparing. And coming up short. ARGH! I thought I’d conquered this! Although I’ve been really busy working hard to take care of my current clients, all I could see was what I was NOT doing. And this of course led to even more of the ‘not doing’, because as we know our thoughts create our results.
If this is you too, there’s hope…
My guess is this is true of you too in one way or another. When we’re thrown into situations we’ve never seen before, we sometimes tend to react in the unhelpful/unhealthy ways that we always have — or maybe in ways we used to and had thought we’d “fixed.”
These ways of reacting may not be ideal but they are comfortable and familiar — and our brains LOVE familiarity. Our brains are designed to unconsciously do whatever it takes to keep us in the familiar because that feels safe. And the number one job of our brain is to keep us safe and alive.
So, especially when all around us is chaos, we’ll gravitate to the familiar to feel some stability. Even if that means reacting out of fear. I used to fear abandonment pretty strongly – and one of the ways I avoided that was through constant comparing and jostling to be at the top of the food chain. In this recent confusion, my subconscious temporarily reverted to what it knew to do for most of my life. Thankfully, I recognized it pretty quickly and I know the best source for rebalancing.
When all around us is chaos, we’ll gravitate to the familiar to feel some stability…even it it’s a negative!
If you’re noticing this in yourself, don’t beat yourself up or assume you’ve lost progress on any work you’d done before all of this. Instead, recognize it as a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances, thank your brain for trying to keep you in the familiar and take a breath. Identify ONE behavior or thought you’d like to address and what positive change you want to see in it. Remind yourself of Truth, make a plan, visualize it and practice it. Over and over and over. In this way, you begin to make those positive behaviors the familiar, go-to ones.
Speaking of visualization… Have you seen this? If you need some help reminding yourself of Truth – of who you ARE in the midst… please give yourself 20 minutes or so to rebalance and watch this video below from Terry Wardle of Healing Care Ministries.
Either way, know that I’m praying for and with you!